Back in September 2015, my friend Joya contacted me to be a part of a video for the up and coming artist Iyves. After a meeting with the director, Christine Yuan, and after listening to Iyves' music I was convinced that it was fate for me to be a part of this project.
The creative team spent a weekend in Coachella Valley filming in some of California's most interesting natural and manmade landscapes:
The final product was beautiful:
Even after the project was finished I felt compelled to dance to the song and decided to dedicate a Mood Mondays to it:
As I sat down to write this blog entry, I couldn't remember what had happened back in September 2015 that inspired the mood for Episode 16. Luckily I have a pretty detailed Google Calendar that tracks all the events in my life, from major dance projects to yoga classes.
I found that around the time this video was made and published was also the audition for Grease: Live (more on that experience in a later post). I remember that process being so intense yet inspiring. After the call was the call back, after the call back was the final call back, and after the final call back was the final final call back. I remember thinking to myself, "Man, everyone in this room is so dang talented." The caliber of dancers in the room was such that Zach Woodlee, the choreographer, could've closed his eyes, spun in a circle, chosen 10 dancers at random, and there still would've been some darn good dancing in the show.
Really. Everyone was that awesome.
But in the end, the dancers were likely cast based on a whole host of other factors outside of skill alone. Dancing is an art, and casting is an art too. It takes a very discerning eye to understand how specific individuals can mesh together to create a larger whole. After all good ingredients combined together don't always make a good dish. And while I may be biased, the dish our Grease: Live creative team whipped up was worthy of a Michelin star rating:
Actors and dancers with director (Tommy) and choreographer (Zach)
The Grease: Live Cast
And that was the reason why I felt (and still feel) so humbled. LA is a competitive city filled with some of the nation's most talented professional dancers. My livelihood as a commercial dancer is booking jobs and beating out the sometimes hundreds of other dancers in the room. As a result, I generally forget to take a moment to simply marvel at how incredibly skilled my peers are. It's easy in this kind of environment to feel envy over admiration.
But last year was also a year of great personal growth for me. I finally felt ready to face a few demons that I had shoved to the back of the closet when I first moved to LA 7 years ago. In so doing, my perception of LA and of commercial dance shifted. I began seeing it as one (but not the only one) outlet for me to find purpose and build identity. All of that trickled down into my every day life, so instead of feeling hyper-competitive (though I still felt anxious) in that final final call back I felt humbled.
Now that you understand the intention and reasoning behind the video, I invite you to enjoy Episode 16 of my Mood Mondays series:
Episode 16: "Holocene" by Bon Iver
Mood: Humbled
Location: Griffith Park, CA
Videographer: Selina Ruthe
You can find the rest of the series up to Episode 27 of Mood Mondays on my YouTube channel and website.
I've always been in love with the song, "Pure" by Ginger Brooks Takahashi and Mirah Yom Tom Zeitlyst. There is something very soothing and grounding about the way the beat intertwines with the singer's voice. I didn't have a clear concept videography wise for this episode, but Selina and I collaborated on creating the space once we figured out what I would be doing movement wise. We deliberately started off in darkness, and I thought it'd be interesting to direct my movement to the light ball since it was such had such a strong visual presence in the shot:
Episode 15: "Pure" by Ginger Brooks Takahashi and Mirah Yom Tom Zeitlyst
For this episode Selina and I wanted to film in a different part of Griffith Park, and wound up on top of a hill right as the sun was setting. It was the perfect example of how being curious and experimental can lead to some beautiful results:
This mood wasn't inspired by a deep psychological state of confusion, but a reaction to the strange weather in Los Angeles. That got me thinking about the range of intensity of all emotions, and how different events can leave you feeling different levels of one emotion (a hurtful confusion versus a curious confusion). Then I thought about how living in the unknown can be very powerful. Being dazed and confused can be unsettling, but when I find myself in that state I remind myself that as long as I persevere there is clarity at the other side:
Every young chick must one day learn to fly. But even when it believes its ready to spread its wings, something can prevent it from taking the leap. It could be a lack of confidence or an unwillingness to leave the comforts of its nest. It could even be that the chick has no idea where to go once it takes off.
As a semi-young person currently experiencing what can only be described as her quarter life crisis, it's surprising to me how much I can relate to that young chick. The desire to spread my wings and to journey off into a completely new place has never been stronger. Despite this, something inside of me is keeping me from taking that dive. I don't know where exactly I want to fly to next, I don't have a flight path mapped out, and the skies are cloudy and gray. All signs say, "Wait".
While the last thing I want to do is wait, I remind myself that sometimes conditions simply aren't ideal. Being patient will pay off eventually, and this is true for all kinds of flights, metaphorical or not.
Back in March, I had this crazy idea that I wanted to skydive for my 25th birthday. I was able to wrangle up four brave friends, two of whom are terrified of heights, to go with me. On the date of our original dive (sometime in April), I received the sad sad news that our dive was cancelled due to poor weather conditions.
Instead of letting the cancellation ruin our day, my friend Will and I decided to utilize our Six Flags Magic Mountain annual passes:
Warmed up with the beastliest of beasts: X2
Now fast forward to June 4, the day of our rescheduled jump. This time we had a full day of adrenaline planned: go to Magic Mountain at 10A, play until 2P, and then head to our skydive appointment at 5P. I mentally prepared myself, and even notified my family.
But June Gloom reared its ugly head, and the lovely people at Skydive Coastal California had to again cancel our jump due to poor weather conditions. And again, we went to Magic Mountain:
The day we experienced Twisted Colossus
Hardened by our disappointing experiences with last minute cancellations, we were slightly pessimistic about our June 29 jump date. But I was still so amped up about the jump that I dedicated a Mood Monday to it:
Episode 9: "Ringtones" by Xiu Xiu (Remixed by Superhumanoids)
Mood: Ready to fly
Location: Barnsdall Art Park
Videographer: Selina Ruthe
The whittled down group of three jumpers (Will, CJ, and me) again made plans to play at Magic Mountain in the morning and then to head to our skydive in Camarillo in the afternoon. We checked our phones all morning for that cancellation call, but it never came.
When we pulled up to the skydive location, a part of me still had this inkling that our jump would be cancelled because of extraneous circumstances. It wasn't until we were flying thousands of feet in the air in a tiny airplane did it dawn on me that it was all really happening.
#emotions
And before I knew it, I was standing on a tiny metal plank at the edge of the airplane:
I felt a variety of emotions throughout the dive; it wasn't just a simple adrenaline rush. The initial part of the jump was a bit terrifying, but the moments before the parachute released were exciting and powerful. I felt like I was flying intentionally as opposed to falling erratically. Once the chute opened, I felt euphoric.
I had thought a long time about skydiving before even calling Skydive Coastal California. Even after I mustered up the courage to make the appointment, it wasn't until months later that I would finally get to jump out of an airplane.
Similarly, I have been reflecting quite a bit on my life and where I see myself in the future. I'm at a place where I'm finally being honest with myself, and even feel ready to take the next step and to jump. But there are elements beyond my control; unpredictable weather that signal it isn't the right time for me to go.
In the mean time I'll keep myself busy, and continue to prepare myself for the journey. One day the sky will clear, and everything will align. And that is the day that I will take the leap and soar.
It seems that I've developed a terrible habit of not regularly posting descriptions and explanations of my "Mood Mondays". There's no real explanation as to why this is so, except that I've just been lazy.
And that, coincidentally, was the mood for Episode 7. The week we filmed this episode, I was coming off a hectic week of rehearsals and projects, and didn't feel like moving to any upbeat music. I chose Youth Lagoon because Trevor Powers' muffled drawl is exactly the kind of music I would want to hear while lying in my bed and daydreaming:
Episode 7: "Posters" by Youth Lagoon
Mood: Lazy
Location: Echo Park Lake
Videographer: Selina Ruthe
The following week I kicked it up a few notches. I heard Cayucas for the very first time on KCRW, and even caught them live in Pasadena at the KCRW Summer Nights event. Their carefree and uptempo sound transformed my mood, and I felt compelled (in a good way) to dance to their music:
Selina mentioned a few days prior to us filming Episode 5 how she wanted to see me do a more playful Mood Monday. And I was of course up to the challenge. We filmed this one the night before I left for my Barcelona trip, and I was naturally feeling jittery and excited. I heard Sylvan Esso for the first time on KCRW, and then caught them live at Coachella Weekend 2 late in April. Their album had been on repeat shuffle for the 2 or 3 weeks, and I immediately thought of this song because of it's upbeat tempo.
Episode 6: "Gimme All Your Live" by Alabama Shakes
Alabama Shakes is a strong contender for New Favorite Artist of 2015 for me. I also heard them for the first time on KCRW, and then fell head over heels in love after watching their performance at Coachella. The only way I can describe this song is through a coloring analogy: It sounds like someone coloring so intensely and passionately that it's as if the lines of the picture don't even exist. The wildness of Brittany Howard's voice is magical, rough, and beautifully desperate.
When I first heard Forest Gump say his infamous quote on life and chocolates, I didn't find it to be particularly true. "Life is like a box of chocolates," he says. "You never know what you're going to get."
But when I think about it now, the quote couldn't be closer to the truth. Each day in my life is like a single little morsel of chocolate. It can be full of yummy gooey caramel (amazing!), but it can also be filled with cloyingly sweet banana flavored cream (awful!).
And sometimes a banana flavored cream filled chocolate is so awful that even after I've reluctantly swallowed it, I can't get the terrible memory of the flavor out of my mind. I dwell on it so much that everything I eat seems to also be flavored like artificially sweetened banana cream.
Similarly, sometimes one singular event in a day can cause so much sadness that even after the moment has passed, I can't stop thinking about it or feeling sad. It's like I've transformed into Eeyore, in which a storm cloud follows me every step I take.
Episode 4 of Mood Mondays was filmed after an event that was really heartbreaking for me. While I won't go into detail about what happened, I hope that my movement was enough to demonstrate my emotions at the time. You can watch the full version on Vimeo at this link, or watch the slightly shortened and lower quality Blogger version:
If you haven't yet, why not take a moment to check out the latest episode in my freestyle series, "Mood Mondays":
Episode 3: "Space Is Only Noise If You Can See" by Nicolas Jaar
Mood: Spacey and blobby
Location: Elysian Park, CA
Videographer: Selina Ruthe
In this episode, I'm not sure if my mood informed the song choice or if the song choice guided my mood. Whatever the case, I hope that I successfully conveyed to you the idea of being spacey and blobby!
When I hear that word I immediately think of the dancing that goes on in those human-made circles at various dance and/or social functions. Usually freestyle circles are dominated by urban dancers whose strengths include hip hop, break dancing, popping, locking, etc. More often than not they look like this:
Freestyle circles are a lot of fun, but my involvement in them is usually limited to that of a very enthusiastic observer. This is mainly because my free style doesn't look anything like that demonstrated in the above video. I'm not sure how well my natural movement inclinations fit with a song like, "Partition". I don't think I "go off" in the conventional way when "B*!@# 'Betta Have My Money" comes on, I don't practice freestyle dancing very often, and I don't feel comfortable doing it in front of large audiences.
A still of what I look like freestyling
But in all honesty, I love free style dancing.
Recently, a talented friend, Mason Cutler, started posting #freedancefriday clips on Instagram. I was blown away (please do yourself a favor and watch some of his work); his style has elements of hip hop intertwined with his own quirky way of moving. After seeing his videos I was super motivated to practice and develop my own freestyle vocabulary.
So that's when my friend Selina and I conceptualized a new series called, "Mood Mondays". The premise is this: Every week I'll choose a different song that embodies my mood and then freestyle dance to it.
The purpose of these videos isn't to help me show off big fancy tricks (because let's be real, I don't have any). Instead, these videos provide a way for me to practice purposeful freestyling.
So without further ado, I am pleased to share with you Episode 1 of our Mood Mondays series:
Episode 1: "Leave Off / The Cave" by Jose Gonzalez
Mood: Sunny and free
